talk about love

in conjunction of my friends recent status, i want to talk about love.

i used to believe in love. well i do believe it now, but it not the same as before. 

when people talk to me about breaking up, honestly i am not the best person. how can i help people when i am not even moving on. when i cant even heal myself. i do not want to lead a blind person when i am blind too, coz in the end, we both will fall.

but i just realize, when you break up, advice is not what you need the most. care and having someone to listen to you patiently without judging is what you need. because when you just broke up, you are irrational and emotional, any advice won't help. the only way to get away your emotional is to share it with someone.

girls especially, tend to listen to something that they want to hear. they do not want to hear the truth, coz it will hurt them more. that's what happen to me. actually, based on my experience, you can listen to thousand people, but in the end, you are the one who take control of you emotion and feeling. because every person have different ways to react with it. every character has their own way to heal. there are some who can heal easily, some can get the new one, and maybe like me, will get stuck for years. but it's me who choose not to forget. remember girls! it's you who take control. you cannot just ask any advice and follow others.

of course when you just broke up, you will regret everything. the good memories will stuck on you and make you even sadder. but, you have to face it. nothing is easy. that feeling of loosing your happiness will be there for days, weeks, and even years, and you have to face it for you to move on. 

just remember the song officially missing you, 'well i thought i could just get over you baby, but there's something i just can't do. from the way you were hold me till the sweet things you told me'...

everything is beautiful when you were in a relationship. it's true.

hum, i don't know why i am against this whole things.

my only reason why i am not ready for such relationship is.... i don't thing i can deal with breaking up. hehe. i know i am such a coward. but it's true.

it's every couple's nightmare though...

so, i guess love is so far from me now....

im 17 though!

i have completely done all my trials. what will come next? SPM and College Application.
yeah. life goes on. we would never stop study. and now im quite used to it. i like it though. why do i have to worry if i have faith and dream. all i m doing now is to achieve my dream and keep in faith. never lose it. it's so beautiful.

so, what's up 17?

i found the new me.
i am so glad i did.

i found the family

i found friends

i found the best 2.

i found so much things at one. um, actually during these 2 weeks. i only realized how lucky i am. i am so grateful for it.

i am more mature now. thanks God for his Holy Spirit. i willingly give up my Canada without even losing faith that i will got there one day. it's so wonderful to be willingly do and say something. Thanks Jesus.

i am move on. okay, i have been telling everyone since i came here. but the truth is, i was 'sometimes' move on. now 'hopefully' i am completely move on. well, im only 17. and his gf, if i could turn back time, she was a very nice girl. she deserved him. she really is nice and lovely. so why should i be jealous for? i mean, hooking up with some one is not a pride. i am single and rejected because God wants me to do something else. maybe i m not ready. and i am sure i am not ready now. so much things i have to do and i want to do. this is inspired by Michael Buble new song 'HAVEN'T MET YOU YET'. i will meet someone someday. when i am ready. when i am ready to share my dream with him. yeah.

i would like to introduce you to my new life.

my lucky number 10. they made me a surprise party. i am so happy.

high school babies. classmates.
the one that have changed me and taught me a lot of things.
we share hate, enemy, love, and happiness at class together.
ps : shiangharn shold be added here.

the sister.
i share my tears with her. i trust her.
i love my little sister:)

my best 2.
gabriella argy - the best i ever had.
we shared everything since we were in elementary school till now and hopefully forever:)
andestya miranti kusumawardhani
the only one that understand me and helped me pass through my middle school
funny thing, in fb she said in 10 years time i will marry caucasian guy and have a handsome twins, and that what i dreame about.
i never even told her about this, but she could say it. we are connected!

indri tjahyono.
she knows everything
even my darkest secret:)

my life.
even if u have nobody
u still have a family.

it's really good to have new home and new love:)

Happy Bday to you!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROHDWIASMORO!

i'll upload your pic later okay!
yeah, happy sweet 17.
remember that you owe me a ride.
you have to drive me around jakarta okay!

yeah, i long to talk to you.
after a year+ we haven't talked.
a lot of things have happened.
but remember that i am still the same.
let's joking around someday okay?
so much to talk. haha.
(gue bawel karena emang gue bawel kan?)

tomorrow is my turn:)
(just remember how fun it is 3 years ago when we congratulated each other...

i'll be back on your favourite date:)

times.

today is 29th of september.

next week is my trial 2.

i can count my time on high school by week.

this week - revision
next 2 weeks - exam
3rd and 4th weeks - final revision
5th and 6th weeks - study leave
then.... final exam.

sigh. time of high school will be gone soon.
i still have no idea where to go.

and next sunday, will be my 17th birthday. it's not a kind of birthday i've evr dreamed of. i won't do anything. i will only study as i have bm and sejarah the next day.

i need 4 more A1.

i've felt the pressure.

but i kind of like it. the feeling of study and stress. it motivate me to do something better than just laying in front of computer or tv.

yeah, you know what i mean.

today, happy birthday for my 2 loves.

my cousin brother, nathan andani saragih, 16 yeard old.

my girl, liew Shiang Harn, 17.
i guess we will have our party together. hehe.

just heard a new song from michael buble, Haven't Met You Yet
nice....

friendship award!

wow. this is the second time Ms. Indri give me such thing. thx dear. i'm glad to be chosen as one of the recipients of this precious award. fyi, Indri is my penpal (now via msn and fb), i met her on msn 2 years ago and she knows most of the things about me now. hehe. we never met before. i hope we will, soon.

As the rules, i'll pass this friendship award to:

- Andestia Miranti Kusumawardhani

- Theofani Dea Miranti

- Say 4 Christ

- Shiangharn and Ming Hui

- Atalya

this award is a sign of "Friendship" to never ending relationship and communication *i hope so, cross finger*

how to take this award:

1. Make the same post like what i made

2. Add my link (the one who give this award) into your site

3. Please follow my blog first

4. Copy picture above and paste to your new post

Thank you! ;)

just me, the books and music

i decided to spend a me time today:)

i finished a book called "reputation" by Tessa. i bought it in Medan. it's from series galled "glam girls" something like a gossip girl i guess.

it's an easy book. really easy, even though the cover looks tempting. i thought it was like "cewek jutek" or another chick-lit book. on the bottom line, it worth to read but not recommended.

i completed my day by youtube-ing.
i found some good songs. a lounge-cozy song that really suit my mood today.

parachute - she is love.
i am not really give my attention into the lyrics. it just talking about how the guy adore the girl. well, it's so not me. but the music is really good. it really calm and cozy.

then i moved on to
Jimmy Wayne - I Love You This Much.
i gave my attention to the lyrics. it really touching though.

last but not least,
Jack Johnson - Angel & Better Together
my favourite :) i watched the live performance on youtube. it really good.

i listen to maliq n d'essentials' the newest album (mata, hati dan telinga is my favourite) and also James morrison.

sigh.
what a day.

on the other note :
he is celebrating his first annyversary today. so i suppose you have an idea why i decided to have "me time"....

school before mid term break.

starting from Monday, sri kdu students will have one week of mid term break.
breath.
horay:!

Thursday, 2 days before the last day of school, something happened!
one student, which is form 1 was confirmed having A H1N1, something that my principal has been worried about.
yeah, 2 days before the holiday.
which means, the school will be closed during holiday! yeah, no difference.
even though the holiday classes are canceled, no difference for me cause i am planning to not attend it. hehe.

so, at 2.30 the guard called me to go home. i was so worried, wondering what happen. it was my bus driver who insisted to send us all home early coz he really concern about us and H1N1. thanks uncle sam!

so here we go, medan on 2 days. yeay! packing! i have packed all the dresses and clothes. i bring to much pinks i know, but most of my clothes are pink! stop complaining Mom!

plan to cut my hair and do some shopping there. hope i'll find cheap stuff *finger cross*.


in the other notes,
i haven't packed my things at school coz just now i was hurried. sigh.

bye folks!